Stress, Sarcasm, and Saying “I’m Sorry”

Posted On September 15, 2015

I’m one week in to this year long challenge and I’ve go to be honest: I am exhausted. Like, there is soo much work to get done ALL. OF. THE. TIME! I haven’t even had time for friends lately and I feel terrible, but I have so much I have to get done that there’s no way I could do both. I feel like I’m constantly running from one place to the other and getting pulled in every single direction. If I have a single – SINGLE – moment of free time, someone texts me telling me to go do something or I get an email adding on another assignment or I get informed of yet another obligation to complete.

It’s like there’s some giant sign that goes off every time I’m not 100% busy and the populous of the world decides that I need to have something else to do. Then, all of the people of the world get together and play rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets to be the one to add one more thing to my already obscenely long to-do list. It’s like a giant punch in the gut from every living being. 
So, if you’re out there and you’ve realized that you’re one of the people that decides to convene at secret meetings to destroy my life, could you, like, not? That’d be great. Thanks 🙂
I get really passive aggressive and snappy when I’m tired and frustrated. Sorry. I used to be able to deal with it a lot better, but I’ve gotten into the habit of letting it go at college. Remember what I said about habits yesterday? Yeah, bad ones are hard to quit. So, if you would be praying for me in this attitude adjustment that I need, that would be super-duper awesome. I need to be less sarcastic and less passive aggressive. Neither of those things is helping me any.
To add to the stress of the already stressful day, I ran into someone that I’ve major damaged as of recent (one of those people I really hurt). [Don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out:  Losing Confidence and Superman T-Shirts]. Anyways, we only said a quick “hey” and kept walking, but my heart was racing I was so nervous. I mean, I feel TERRIBLE about what I’ve done and I really want to apologize, but I’m also really scared to do so. I know that sounds kind of childish, but I really really don’t know what to do here. I’m so bad with people and relationships and the like that I’m absolutely terrified of making things worse.

“What if it’s better for them if I just let it go and don’t try to get back in to their life?”

“What if it’s better for them for us to talk and me to apologize?”

“What’s God’s perfect Will for all of this?”

I DON’T KNOW! And even if I did have an answer, I wouldn’t know how to proceed from there. This is, honestly, one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with in my life and I don’t have Mom or Dad to hold my hand through this. Adulting is hard, guys. It’s really hard. *Pout*.

In all seriousness, I know that following God’s Will and hearing God’s voice – whether it’s about my stress, attitude, or forgiveness – are not easy things to do. What I do know is that God has made it possible for us to find ourselves in Him. To follow His Will is to seek to reflect the example of His Son. To hear His voice is to spend time with Him daily in prayer and in word. So, that’s what I need to be doing: praying, reading His word, and striving daily to represent Him. So, with any luck, that’s what I’ll be doing tomorrow and maybe I can get some answers, change my attitude, and even reduce my stress.

I’d love any prayer support you want to send my way!
Best of luck in the real world and God bless,
XTopher

P.S. I do realize that I have probably sounded like a whiny little kid though most of this. No, I do not always sound like this (at least I hope I don’t). Sometimes I just need to get my whiny, immature thoughts and attitudes out of my head so I can start fresh. That fresh start is exactly what I needed tonight, so thanks so much for bearing through this with me.

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Christopher Hanson is a recent graduate of Simpson College where he obtained a double major in Mathematics and Computer Science. While there, he embraced the "Liberal Arts Experience" which granted him a continued passion for Spanish, theatre, creative writing, service, justice, and principally: people. He currently works in DevOps in the Twin Cities, and enjoys pursuing a number of creative projects, long walks by the lake, and making new friends. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @XTopherHanson13.